My Confused review of Crownies.

Crownies is a new Australian tv show about the states lawyers, those who prosecute criminals, I don’t know which state they are in yet but it doesn’t seem important…. Its description included something about young, modern professionals looking for love or some such nonsense. I haven’t watched many Australian tv shows, but I am always willing to watch a show with attractive people, and this show has attractive people.. Oh ya.. Sex and Crime is also included somewhere in the description.

So I don’t review things, there are people waaaaaaaaaay better than me at doing this but I don’t understand this show, and I’m bored so I’m writing…

So it starts, we are dropped into a blonde girls bathroom who is dressing up in um… something weird… like lingerie or something and I start logging off mentally because even though she is pretty it seems like a silly thing to be showing us… Then it jumps into the office and there are 100 characters introduced into the mix, the parents of the murder victim in the case, other lawyers, other shit.

At this point I don’t know what is going on….. stuff happens.. people cry… We jump to another case where a teenager I think was raped and assaulted and the show deals with the next 5 minutes horribly… I wont even go there…. More lawyer stuff… there are so many characters and they seem to just spend the whole day looking at things and people…

We are in the bathroom where young female lawyers are discussing something that seems important in their underwear while getting ready for this party that the blonde girl was dressing up for… She seems extremely unprofessional but more on that later… There is a discussion between her and an old lady about how god is here say which was kinda funny I think…. We are introduced to man-crying lawyer who doesn’t want to do the cases where children are molested or something so he is breaking down for some reason.. Oh and this other lawyer guy who is an arrogant ass type is getting lots of screen time to do arrogant asstype stuff…. Oh there is a rumour going round the office about something about something…. The attorney General is a pervert I think.???

Now all the girls are dressed suggestively because the party is soon…. around 5-8 minutes of stuff happens that I couldn’t care less about.. We meet blonde girls boyfriend who is a walking cliché (she is 22 apparently)….. arrogant ass lawyer ends up in the judges associates office (another pretty girl) they talk about lots of shit while she changes before she grabs his balls because that’s how bonobos (they look like chimpanzees) greet each other, she is a feminist apparently who has a picture of the chimpanzee lookalike on her door because in their society women rule so there is less violence or something?? WTF?? they also have orgy sex.. I think.. at this point I’m really confused.

We are now at the party…. We meet more people and there are more conversations about stuff that sure seems like its important… we met a court reporter and a detective… At this point all the men look the same and the women are refreshingly diverse. 22-year-old blonde is being forcefully pushed on us as smart.. then…

Crying-man lawyer finds her boyfriend snorting coke in the bathroom… tells her of course then…. sigh.. they go outside she is really mad.. He thinks oh if i was caught it would be a fine and slap on the wrist… she says.. “I’m not talking bout you imagine what that would have meant for me, can you just think about me for one second (then stuff about her career and colleagues most of which she is right about btw)”….. PAUSE…. I have so many thoughts about this…

1st.. She has a job that was highly competitive i assume, so she must be smart, being a  recent graduate and stuff. Yet her boyfriend is a ridiculously stupid person as he appears to be.

2nd.. She has been walking around in lingerie all day and now is when she is worried about her career?

3rd.. Either she always wants him to think about her first or he never thinks about her first either way why is she with him? and how simultaneously stupid and smart can this show make her seem?

He pulls out a wedding ring…. She kisses him.. Nobody actually asked or agreed to anything.. but it’s stronglly implied… She isn’t mad anymore… (So is she the smart 22-year-old lawyer graduate with a great job or the girl who seems very stupid.)

Chimpanzee girl and arrogant lawyer guy have sex on the bosses desk.. Why?? Who  the fuck knows.

22-year-old lawyer girl is really being made to look stupid and smart at the same time… It’s like her character is some sort of statement..

Other shit is happening.. morning after stuff… oh.. there is an alarm clock that looks like it’s from the 80s.

They are doing some case stuff… To be honest at this point ive stopped caring.. I’m not watching.. There might have been some swear words.. But there wont be any nudity and that’s my que to log my brain out…

I didn’t watch the rest of the episode and I wont be watching the rest of this show…. I do not get it. It might be a really good show, but I got bored, confused and bored again by the stupid show.